We have a new member of our family....

Yep! That's right, we are now proud owners of a puppy named "Samuel"! We all call him something different like Sammy, Sam-I-am and just plain Sam. We have had him for 2 days now and I am amazed that we could love a little baby doggie sooo much.


Samuel is a Toy Poodle/terrier mix. He probably wont be more then 6 or so pounds when he full grown. Right now he is only about 10 oz. He is only almost 7 weeks old. Samuel is learning stuff so fast though. He has not pottied in his crate at all and we are already taking him outside to potty and he makes every time! I am amazed! The only thing that is a little bothersome to me,which is kinda silly, is that he smells like a wet dog. There is nothing that I don't like more then that smell. So I guess he will be getting a frequent bath here and there and they have some freshening up spray at PetsMart that I might have to get too.


The kids are doing great with him too. Rylie is little rough and tough child and doesn't understand "Easy, not rough" very well and she frequently squeezes him which literally scares me to death. A 10oz dog isn't very durable to toddler abuse! :) Danielle carries Samuel around like a newborn baby and wants to sleep with him in her bed. (We are crate training him) so that's out of the question. Overall though the kids are doing great with him. Kevin hasn't said much about him but I think he always thought we would get a big dog like a Lab or Golden Retriever or something around those lines. I know he likes the dog because he is always snuggling with him on the couch before bed but Sammy isn't a very manly dog. You will see when you look at the pics! LOL

Well here's our "little man" :

Happy 6th Birthday Danielle!!!

My baby girl turned six today! Wow! I can't believe it has been six years since that day when it was just her and I in that hospital room...

On March 16th 2003, Danielle Claire was born after a short 5 hour labor and delivery weighing in at 6lbs 13.8ozs and 18 3/4 in at 11:26pm. Whirlwinds of emotions came as she entered my world. But just as any new mommy I scooped her up and loved that little girl and made many promises to her and that moment only belongs to "us"!

Since that day 6 years ago Danielle has grown into a wonderful and sweet little girl. No longer atoddler anymore she has officially entered childhood! Yeah Danielle!

On Saturday we had a party at our house to celebrate! She had a great time and so did we! After the party 4 girls spent the night. They all had a blast and were full of giggles and energy! We watched High School Muscial 3 and ate candy and popcorn and apples! And then without any fussiness they all went to sleep and slept great! There were 2 girls who had never spent a night away from their mommies and daddies and they did awesome too!

My girls are growing sooo fast....

My dear! Danielle is going to be 6 years old this Monday! And Rylie Grace is going to be 2 in June! Where has the time gone?!? I mean it seems like it was just yesterday that Ry was a baby!

Rylie at 3 days old...

Danielle 3 days old....I guess you are all wondering why I am reminiscing?!?! Well my friend Heather just had her baby girl last night by C-Section and I got to go and spend time with her and mommy and she is just so perfect...I mean every little feature was so...well, perfect. It seemed. And I just miss those days of contentment with my babies. They are aware of the harshness(well Danielle is), of this world and I cant help but ask myself why I rushed those precious days, so much so that I barely remember certain things about those first days. What happened to my Danielle who seemed so perfect?? She know battles the Bipolar disorder and PTSD. Why? I guess I could ask why all day long but that isnt going to take it away, I know! But Just seeing her made me think that while everyone comes in and says "Ooohhh, How perfectly precious!",I wonder what happened to my babies? The 9 that are in Heaven?? The 2 I have on this earth?? They need me now and while the doctors cant tell you on your childs day of birth that they continue to be perfectly healthy, I guess I lived in that fantasy world that nothing bad would happen to them.

Today, I had a team of 6 specialists sit across from a board room table and tell me that my child has a "Mood Disorder". WHAT! You dont think I know that! Why do you think I am here?!? I want to know why...Why is this happening to her...why at age 5...why hallucinations that terrify her...why not newborn bliss until she can handle this mean awful world?? Why, why, why??? Although they all had very good recommendations and accommodations and reason and much more then anyone person can handle to hear, I still can't shake this overwhelming feeling that I have failed as a mother. In fact, they said to me "Mrs. Smith, It seems as if you and Danielle missed a step in the dance of infancy. Can you recall a time that that may have happened?" Okay, I know they had only the best intentions since this is MUSC Childrens Hospital, but come on! How can a mother answer that question? How can I look at a bunch of strangers and say "Gee, I think it might of been the 6 1/2 months of screaming she did as an infant or the 18 months of continuous breastfeeding, or maybe the fact that I just didn't know what I was doing at age 20." To make it all feel that much worse they referred ME to counseling and said that I had to learn to parent my child in a "very different, yet gentle and non-combative way".

Wow! Thanks. I really needed that. I almost felt like at that moment they could have slapped me in the face and that would have hurt less. So as my sweet baby girl turns 6 on Monday, I will be reminded that once again I have failed as a parent. It seems. I have been praying really hard about this and I know God is teaching me something...i'm just not sure what. While I am figuring that out I will try to keep this blog on a more positive note...but please keep me in your prayers. I know my children need them too put I do that automatically everyday before the even open their tiny eyes....

By the way...The baby who I went to see was named:

Eliana Sierra Louise Webb!

Born 3/10/2009

at 8:43 pm

8lbs 12 ozs 20 inches long

Congrats to the family! She is absolutely precious! (Pics)

"Snow Down" in Summerville

Good evening family and friends! I hope your weekend was wonderful just like mine was!

On Friday we went to a friends house and had a going away party for a friend from church! His name is Tim. Please keep his family in your prayer as they will be separated for several months for military training stuff. Then on Saturday we went with Danielle's best friend Haley and her parents Chris and Christy to the "Snow-Down" at Faith Assembly church in Summerville! It was a blast! It was the very first time the kids had seen some type of snow!

Danielle in the snow

Rylie Grace examining the snow...she could figure out what this very cold thing was! She eventually starting playing with it but it took most of her turn to do so!Danielle and her BFF Haley!They did a children's service in the middle of the day and had an awesome worship time too! This is Haley and Danielle listening to the pastor.And last but not least...Rylie! She loves to praise and worship God! She was totally into it and you cant really see but she has her hand stretched up towards the Heavens! How cute is that?!Rylie pointing to God again! That girl loves to worship! Family worship time in our home happens a lot because of this little girl!Hope you all enjoyed the pics! Have a blessed evening!

Much love,

Jacki

Savannah GA here we come!

Okay I know it's been a really long time since I have updated and I am terribly sorry for that! We have been extremely busy! Life just keeps getting so busy. So we decided to get away from it all and just chill out for a couple days! We were in desperate need of that. We decided that since Savannah wasnt very far away that it was perfect for our very short notice trip!

This was the bridge we came over to get into Historic Savannah. I didnt know that there was another bridge that resembled the one in Charleston!

This was one of several monument that we saw. They were all so beautiful!

Kevin and Rylie in front of the monument.

Kevin and Danielle...being their silly selves in front of the same monument!




AAGGHH....Why did this turn?? Oh well, this was on the steps of the Old Court House across from the square that we were at on the first day!
On the second day we went to Oatland Wildlife park. It was absolutely the most beautiful place I have ever been. It was a wilderness walk you basically take on your own through several beautiful trees and there were natural exhibits along the way that were native to the Savannah and South Carolina coast. This was one of the old Oak trees that Kevin was in love with!


This was me and the girls looking at the reptile exhibit....Alligators, snakes, turtles and many more lizards that were totally grossing me out! But the kids loved them!

Danielle was on the boardwalk over the marsh which was again very beautiful to look out over!

We went to have lunch after all that walking(4 hours) at Paula Deans Restaurant in Downtown Savannah. He just had to get her Collard greens and peach cobbler amongst other things... Danielle...sideways! AAGHH!

Rylie did not want to sit in her highchair at all. We had a great window seat and she was all about looking out of the window the whole time!

This was on River St.! It was all waterfront and so cold but really pretty. The kids by this point were done with site seeing and they just wanted to run around! As you can see they weren't very happy! Another beautiful monument...

This was 1% of the pictures we took! We took 349 pictures and 4 videos! It was crazy. We had no idea!

Anyways, we all have been good! Just living the everyday! Danielle is still having her ups and down and we are still going to our marriage class! We are still enjoying that time very much! The only new news to report is that we have hired a mothers helper/ babysitter. She is awesome! We love her and so do the kids! She is available to share...just thought I would pass it along!

OKay off to appointments. I pray that you all would have a very blessed day!

Much love,

Jacki

Marriage Foundations...

Kevin and I are taking a Marriage Foundations class at our church and this past week they gave us a temperament test to do for homework and then we went over it on Saturday. It was so interesting to see what a tool this test was for our marriage. It revealed things that we didnt even realize were issues or situations that could cause issues. We both agreed that this was an awesome topic and when we got home we continued to converse about it and learned somethings about each other that can only be extremely helpful to our marriage!

The test itself doesn't say anything but the interpretation of it says tons! For instance, it says that I(Jacki) am a "D". "D's" are very dominant, decisive, and direct. They do things "MY WAY" which of course can lead to issues in the marriage since a marriage covenant wasn't created "my way". It revealed to me that I have to be under the authority of first God and then my husband for my marriage to be successful. That isnt "my way" by any means. I like things to go a certain way and if it doesn't then I tend to get upset. By learning what my temperament was I was able to identify what my behavior would/could do to my marriage and my relationship with God!

What a scary realization. I mean, after all I had no idea that I could be hindering my relationship with not only my husband but with Father God as well. Maybe this has been the issue all along?? Not quite sure, but my guess is probably "yes". Last week when I was spending some much needed time with God I remember asking God to reveal to me what it was that I was doing wrong in life. Why do some many speed bumps have to be in my journey/path to You Father??

Well I am pretty sure that He has officially answered my question, you think??


Okay, now for the fun part of my entry:

I saw this on another blog and I really liked the idea and I thought it was cute.
"Not me Monday!"
1. I did not hit the snooze button on my alarm and wake up 1 hour later then I needed to.
2. I did not eat chips and ranch dip and a bagel with butter for breakfast this morning.
3. I did not drink my 2 cups of coffee and follow that with a Mt. Dew.
4. I am not addicted to Mt. Dew.
5. I do not have a shortage of patience today due to the major headache I dont have.
6. I am not refusing to take some Migraine Meds to make it go away.
7. I am not drawing a blank for writing what else I am not...

Kinda cute right??

Well thought I might add that the kids are doing okay. They both have double ear infections but hey I can handle after the really bad week in January that we had. Like I said early Kevin and I are going to a marriage class that I wish we would have attended before we got married because it has a lot of really good info in it! We love it and cant wait to see the affect it has on our marriage!

We hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day!

Love,
Jacki

Winter is at my house...

Brrrrr.....

My family has been dressed in layers for weeks now! This is craziness! For some reason I dont NOT remember it being this cold in the last 4 years of living here in SC. Well since the cold weather has us in the house most days instead of outside we have a lot of time to play games, color and having meaningful conversations. I guess you could say we are enjoying the "Small things" in life.

As most of you read in my last post, I have been spending a little more time then usual for me with God. I have had a time with all of this illness and sadness in my family and as a mom and wife I want to fix it and make it go away. I want to heal everyone from their illness and comfort my children and husband when they hurt. I had taken on this GINORMOUS(i know this is probably not a word) task and have been kinda burdened by it because it is A LOT!

Well in the time I had with the Lord this week and it was confirmed in church this Sunday, I have got to let go and let God! He never meant for me carry those burdens. He never meant for me to be a great mother to His children and be a helper to my husband on my own. The enemy has tricked me into this idea that it is MY burden to carry and that if I dont then I am not being a good wife and mother. Wrong answer says God! Thats why I am here. TRUST ME! LEAN on ME! Let Me love you! Let Me take care of you.

Okay, God if this is what You want and have had planned for me please show me what this looks like.

There are many questions that I had for God this week. Some of them got answered and a lot of them did not. I guess it will continue to be a work in progress. But hey, I will take work in progress over sad, lonely and exhausted any day!

Family update:

Danielle: Has had a bad week...but her therapist has assured me that this is normal and will pass and if it does not then we will increase her meds. I really hope we dont have to do this but God does know what she needs and we will with His guidance make that decision when its time. She missed 2 1/2 days of school last week because of it and that makes a lot of homework for a little girl who is battling depression. So please pray for Danielle. That she will come out of this and transition back into normalcy(her normal). Health wise she is good though. Just still working on the mental aspect of things...

Rylie: Silly as ever! She is feeling better. Still not eating as much food as we would like but we will take what we can get even if it is a chicken nugget from McDonald's. Other then that she is growing and gaining her weight back slowly.

Kevin and I are spending a lot of individual time with God these days. Maybe thats whats been missing all this time. And why we have such a hard time. Well at least we are starting to figure things out and trying to do the right thing. Our new church is still awesome although there is times where I dearly miss JICC. The house is great and such a blessing to us and the marriage is still a work in progress.I think thats the way God wanted. Growing and changing everyday.

Well my friends, thats all for now! Hope you enjoyed. I am really hoping to get some recent pics and a video of Rylie talking. She has really started talking really good. Also, Rylie started potty training 3 days ago and she is doing good. she used the potty 2 times the first day and now she thinks if she sits on it(with clothes on) that we have clap and get a treat. Shes currently upset that we tell her she has to put something in the potty first. She will even go as far as spitting in the potty to get some treats. Silly girl!

Have a blessed day!
Much love,
Jacki