Well my friends, Danielle has had a rough 2 days. Yesterday she was rushed to the ER around noon time for what they called a "Dystonic medication reaction". Yep. I am sure you are all wondering what that means. It basically means that her adverse reaction caused stiff muscles and a loss of consciousness. She was down for about 12 mins and then when she came too she had no idea what was going on. Her heart rate was in the 180's and she had some shallow breathing. They gave her some O2 and then we got into the ambulance where they hooked her up to everything else. When we got to the hospital they gave her some IV fluids and drew some blood and did a CT and an EKG all of which came back normal ( thank goodness ) They sent us home with the adverse reaction diagnosis and told us to follow up in the morning with her psychiatrist. We did and he feels like she would benefit from restarting the medication at a lower dose. When you consider the alternative to the medication, which is basically hell on earth, the benefits definitely outweigh the risks.
So tonight, against my wishes and better judgement I will restart the dreaded medication and pray that the Lord will keep her safe and that he will show us what the right thing is to do. I wish that I could approach this situation with hope and knowledge that whatever happens is Gods Will for her and for us. But for some reason that is not how I approach it. And it plain out sucks! I hate this for Danielle. I hate this for my marriage. I hate that Rylie can not do normal baby things because of the beatings that she has taken from Danielle. I hate that we cant even make to church for fear that Danielle will not want to be left with people that she doesnt know and that when we get home she will melt. I hate that my life revolves around Dr. appointments and therapy sessions, previewing and fighting with my family. I hate all of this. I really just want it all to go away!
I know that God must be giving me the strength to get through this because, maybe at the end of this struggle He will be Glorified. And after all isnt that what we are all supposed to do through the good times and bad???
So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen.2 Timothy 2:10 NLT
Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen 2 Timothy 4:18 NLT
So after a very emotional day I am back to the trenches of my so called life. We do however what to thank everybody for their prayers and support. Keep them coming! If it weren't for those we probably would have no strength to handle any of this. We will keep everybody updated on the situation and of course all of the joyous things as well as they happen!
Have a wonderful day! Until next time,
much love jacki
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