Friday, March 20, 2009

We have a new member of our family....

Yep! That's right, we are now proud owners of a puppy named "Samuel"! We all call him something different like Sammy, Sam-I-am and just plain Sam. We have had him for 2 days now and I am amazed that we could love a little baby doggie sooo much.

Samuel is a Toy Poodle/terrier mix. He probably wont be more then 6 or so pounds when he full grown. Right now he is only about 10 oz. He is only almost 7 weeks old. Samuel is learning stuff so fast though. He has not pottied in his crate at all and we are already taking him outside to potty and he makes every time! I am amazed! The only thing that is a little bothersome to me,which is kinda silly, is that he smells like a wet dog. There is nothing that I don't like more then that smell. So I guess he will be getting a frequent bath here and there and they have some freshening up spray at PetsMart that I might have to get too.

The kids are doing great with him too. Rylie is little rough and tough child and doesn't understand "Easy, not rough" very well and she frequently squeezes him which literally scares me to death. A 10oz dog isn't very durable to toddler abuse! :) Danielle carries Samuel around like a newborn baby and wants to sleep with him in her bed. (We are crate training him) so that's out of the question. Overall though the kids are doing great with him. Kevin hasn't said much about him but I think he always thought we would get a big dog like a Lab or Golden Retriever or something around those lines. I know he likes the dog because he is always snuggling with him on the couch before bed but Sammy isn't a very manly dog. You will see when you look at the pics! LOL

Well here's our "little man" :

Monday, March 16, 2009

Happy 6th Birthday Danielle!!!

My baby girl turned six today! Wow! I can't believe it has been six years since that day when it was just her and I in that hospital room...

On March 16th 2003, Danielle Claire was born after a short 5 hour labor and delivery weighing in at 6lbs 13.8ozs and 18 3/4 in at 11:26pm. Whirlwinds of emotions came as she entered my world. But just as any new mommy I scooped her up and loved that little girl and made many promises to her and that moment only belongs to "us"!

Since that day 6 years ago Danielle has grown into a wonderful and sweet little girl. No longer atoddler anymore she has officially entered childhood! Yeah Danielle!

On Saturday we had a party at our house to celebrate! She had a great time and so did we! After the party 4 girls spent the night. They all had a blast and were full of giggles and energy! We watched High School Muscial 3 and ate candy and popcorn and apples! And then without any fussiness they all went to sleep and slept great! There were 2 girls who had never spent a night away from their mommies and daddies and they did awesome too!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

My girls are growing sooo fast....

My dear! Danielle is going to be 6 years old this Monday! And Rylie Grace is going to be 2 in June! Where has the time gone?!? I mean it seems like it was just yesterday that Ry was a baby!
Rylie at 3 days old...

Danielle 3 days old....I guess you are all wondering why I am reminiscing?!?! Well my friend Heather just had her baby girl last night by C-Section and I got to go and spend time with her and mommy and she is just so perfect...I mean every little feature was so...well, perfect. It seemed. And I just miss those days of contentment with my babies. They are aware of the harshness(well Danielle is), of this world and I cant help but ask myself why I rushed those precious days, so much so that I barely remember certain things about those first days. What happened to my Danielle who seemed so perfect?? She know battles the Bipolar disorder and PTSD. Why? I guess I could ask why all day long but that isnt going to take it away, I know! But Just seeing her made me think that while everyone comes in and says "Ooohhh, How perfectly precious!",I wonder what happened to my babies? The 9 that are in Heaven?? The 2 I have on this earth?? They need me now and while the doctors cant tell you on your childs day of birth that they continue to be perfectly healthy, I guess I lived in that fantasy world that nothing bad would happen to them.

Today, I had a team of 6 specialists sit across from a board room table and tell me that my child has a "Mood Disorder". WHAT! You dont think I know that! Why do you think I am here?!? I want to know why...Why is this happening to her...why at age 5...why hallucinations that terrify her...why not newborn bliss until she can handle this mean awful world?? Why, why, why??? Although they all had very good recommendations and accommodations and reason and much more then anyone person can handle to hear, I still can't shake this overwhelming feeling that I have failed as a mother. In fact, they said to me "Mrs. Smith, It seems as if you and Danielle missed a step in the dance of infancy. Can you recall a time that that may have happened?" Okay, I know they had only the best intentions since this is MUSC Childrens Hospital, but come on! How can a mother answer that question? How can I look at a bunch of strangers and say "Gee, I think it might of been the 6 1/2 months of screaming she did as an infant or the 18 months of continuous breastfeeding, or maybe the fact that I just didn't know what I was doing at age 20." To make it all feel that much worse they referred ME to counseling and said that I had to learn to parent my child in a "very different, yet gentle and non-combative way".

Wow! Thanks. I really needed that. I almost felt like at that moment they could have slapped me in the face and that would have hurt less. So as my sweet baby girl turns 6 on Monday, I will be reminded that once again I have failed as a parent. It seems. I have been praying really hard about this and I know God is teaching me something...i'm just not sure what. While I am figuring that out I will try to keep this blog on a more positive note...but please keep me in your prayers. I know my children need them too put I do that automatically everyday before the even open their tiny eyes....

By the way...The baby who I went to see was named:

Eliana Sierra Louise Webb!

Born 3/10/2009

at 8:43 pm

8lbs 12 ozs 20 inches long

Congrats to the family! She is absolutely precious! (Pics)